The MagSafe connector on the charger glowing green doesn't mean that the MagSafe I/O board on the computer is working; it just means that the connector on the charger is able to complete the circuit. Since:
- the battery does not appear to be charging
- the computer does not power up from the charger with the battery removed
- shorting the power connection doesn't work when the computer is plugged into the charger
...the next logical guess is that electricity is not making it through the MagSafe DC-In board to the logic board. The next thing to try is to replace the MagSafe board; then try to power up from the charger with the battery out first. If that works, then reinstall the replacement battery, and see if the MagSafe connector on the charger turns orange. If it does, the battery is charging; let it charge up overnight, then check the charge LEDs on the side of the computer to see what you get.
A swollen battery is always bad news. It can leak nasty stuff on the inside of the chassis, and power spikes/brownouts may damage internal circuitry, which may be the source of your current problems. Get rid of the old battery immediately.
MacBook Pro 15" Unibody Late 2008 and Early 2009 DC-In Board Replacement
MacBook Pro 15" Unibody (Late 2008-Early 2009) MagSafe DC-In Board
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