iFixit limits the number of photos per step to three, as such I had to split the BIOS settings into two steps. Notably, the Peripheral Setup setting is likely the most crucial.

Once you have adjusted the necessary settings, remember to save them before allowing the printer to boot into its ASCII GUI.

Update as of 2022: I recently configured a printer with a dead CMOS battery and found that you must set "Onboard FDC" to "Disabled".